I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
