you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
