Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
