What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't think brook has ever known best
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
