when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
