Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
then he tried to convert me to islam
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
