nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So. Much. Porn.
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