I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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My liver just had a heart attack.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We need to get me chipped asap
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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