Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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