I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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