i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
