the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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