Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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