I bet he comes in French.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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