Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
