we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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