I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
