come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize