I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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