the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I died a long time ago.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you never un-have a 4some
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
