there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize