farters have to be the big spoon...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
