I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize