Nicole vs. Life
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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