bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
