Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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