I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
