I wish my penis had an off switch
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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