you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Vodka?
Forever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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