she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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