He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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