Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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