covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just pee around me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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