Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
