I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
