i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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