is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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