The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
