Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sarcasm needs its own font
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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