Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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