we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I need to calm my uterus...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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