You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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