Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
