I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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