ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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