Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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