Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
