Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
