Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
