ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize