PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
