That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
