laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
