I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
