I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
