we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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