I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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