i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
