I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just invented taco cereal.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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