I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
