She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
