you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
