I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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