I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
