she takes plan B like it's going out of style
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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