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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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• (562): View more from California

  just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  bloody. ill be home soon.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  omg mom no

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  It's so blood brotha crip what be good

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.

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