I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.