Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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