Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on

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  (503): when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on http://tfl.nu/x4cw
  Replies (54) Good night (10069) Bad night (864)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

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  (+41): look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent. http://tfl.nu/4y57
  Replies (20) Good night (6396) Bad night (643)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.

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  (513): I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here. http://tfl.nu/bgry
  Replies (11) Good night (2740) Bad night (1403)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.

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  (215): I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did. http://tfl.nu/l0um
  Replies (22) Good night (3721) Bad night (917)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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  (304): He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight. http://tfl.nu/5vdu
  Replies (60) Good night (15168) Bad night (2133)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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  (715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn
  Replies (26) Good night (5229) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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  (630): He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table. http://tfl.nu/sm7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (2034)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

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  (612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on http://tfl.nu/0rd7
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (3336)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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  (701): Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon http://tfl.nu/mzrc
  Replies (4) Good night (2133) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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  (315): We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked. http://tfl.nu/mwis
  Replies (4) Good night (1873) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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  (718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6
  Replies (10) Good night (1148) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!

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  (512): I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS! http://tfl.nu/2uiu
  Replies (5) Good night (2289) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room

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  (818): I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room http://tfl.nu/ovpj
  Replies (6) Good night (674) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.

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  (704): You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor. http://tfl.nu/wkix
  Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"

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  (815): A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!" http://tfl.nu/ey8v
  Replies (7) Good night (1341) Bad night (244)

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