I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.