Plan B is the new Plan A
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.