well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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