I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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